I'm a terrible blogger. 3 1/2 months between posts? Maybe this isn't my thing, but I'm going to try again.
So, all 4 people that read this, you may or may not know that I have been having a rough year. I came to Madison in July raring to go, and was wildly disappointed with school. My program wasn't a good fit, and I started to come to the realization that I don't want to be a chemist. I just didn't know what I wanted to do instead. This meant the better part of a semester of being pretty miserable. I was ridiculously unhappy, a feeling made even more difficult by the fact that I had been ridiculously happy during the first half of 2009, when I was still at Oberlin.
In January, I reached a breaking point. I am dropping out of my program after this semester. I applied to the School of Library and Information Studies here at UW. I'm hoping I get in, and I'm hoping I can find a source of funding. But this is a start. I'm so excited. I'm rebuilding.
And I am knitting.
Now, that in itself is not unusual. I knit a lot. But this time, I am just knitting. No cables, no lace, no purling. Just knit, knit, knit, repeating the familiar, soothing motion over and over for what will end up being thousands and thousands of stitches.
Vast swaths of garter stitch in what might be my new favorite yarn are cascading off my needles and piling up in my lap. I'm building blocks of garter stitch as I rebuild my life into something that I want it to be.
And if it doesn't pan out? If I don't get in? If I can't find a way to pay for it? Well, my life will suck for a while. But I'll figure it out. And I know it won't be any worse that it was last fall. And if it doesn't work, I'll keep on knitting and keep on rebuilding. And I really have a feeling it's all going to be okay.